


That's what dormm8s are for

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anonymous Sex, Cock Worship, Cuckolding, D/s tones, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, F/M, Facial, Hand Jobs, Humanstuck, Multiple Pov, Size Kink, Strangers, Verbal Humiliation, excessive cum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:39:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: Vriska plays with Equius' horse dick and talks about how big it is while telling him he's otherwise a big sweaty failure- Me on anon at Homesmut as if everyone doesn't already know it's me





	1. Equius

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: mild dubious consent (bullied into sex), casual cissexism, mentioned zoophilia
> 
> Chapters can be read in either order

I know this extraordinary story sounds like something out of a pornographic magazine but it is 100% true.

It was Friday night at almost ten and I was in my dormitory room. I working on my homework so I could spend the weekend in rest and relaxation. My thoughts on Advanced Calculus were interrupted when I heard a knock on the door. I thought it would either be Nepeta, in which case I would scold her for coming unannounced, or the RA, in which case I would help him in any way I could. Instead, there was a third person. She was female and she looked to be around my age. I had seen her around the campus but I did not know her name nor had I ever had any interest in it. We had never been next to each other so I never noticed how tall she was. Not as tall as me, but still tall for a woman. Normally she wore rather shapeless clothes but this night she was wearing an indecent dress that went down only to her mid-thigh and was so tight it looked painful. Under that, she wore knee-high boots. She wore her abundant dark hair in a high ponytail. I didn't have much time to take in her looks before she spoke.

She angrily asked if I was Equius in the most obnoxious voice.

I replied, "That is the name on the door. What do you want?"

She didn't answer this pertinent question and instead said we needed to do this inside. Before I could ask why, she put her hand on my chest and pushed her way in. I'm not easily pushed but I was shocked enough by her sudden movement to step back. She closed and locked the door behind me before I could. Her head swiveled around the room until it looked up at the ceiling. She sighed and muttered something about my room. After that, she turned to me. She told me there was something she wanted to know.

"Why couldn't you have asked me in the hall instead of barging into my room?" I asked.

She said it was a private questions that needed a private space.

"Why do you think I'd answer a private question from a stranger?"

She said it was because it was a matter of manly pride.

"What do you mean?"

She said it was about my manhood.

"Manhood?"

She started saying there were rumors around campus. I panicked and went, "It's not true!"

She finished the ominous sentence by saying the rumor was I had the biggest male g*nit*ls on campus.

I had not heard that rumor. I didn't know how it could have started. I wasn't intimate with anyone on campus. I try to be modest. Then I remembered one time in the shower room I forgot my robe and all I had was a tiny towel and I'd just given in to...self-pleasure...in the stall so I was still...tumescence...and I might have dropped the towel a second revealing myself. I thought no one was in the room or even the area. Then I heard the sound of flip flops. I never saw anyone. Could they have seen me? I felt betrayed for a moment that Nepeta didn't bring this news before realizing she was the worst person who could have told me.

"Who started this rumor?" I asked.

This stranger didn't care where it started. She only cared if it was true or not.

"Why should I tell you?"

She called on chivalry, as if any decent lady would ask such a question. I continued to think it was the wrong thing to do. Yet there was something about the way she was demanding me. I'm not used to sexual demands from females. I kept my face blank though I must have had a drop or two of sweat on my brow.

In response to my silence, she threatened to tell everyone I had undersized g*n*tals. I found it shameful enough that everyone knew my p*n*s size but it would be worse if they thought it was small.

"Okay, I will show you," I answered resentfully.

She smiled and called me a good boy as if I were a pet.

I went to unbutton my shorts but she had to do it herself. I took some measure of control back by fishing my own g*nitals out of my own briefs with my own hands. The air, which had been comfortable before, now felt so cold on my genitals. I felt completely naked. In response to sight, she made a humming sound. It went on too long for my comfort. It might have been only a few seconds but it felt longer for me.

She asked if it was completely soft.

"Yes," I said, though that wasn't exactly true. I didn't want her to know how much she was affecting me.

She asked how long it was.

I thought about using centimeters but instead I said, "About five inches."

She nodded and said it was a good size.

At the time, I thought that size was only average. I had once read something about p*nis size and it said the average was five inches and I foolishly thought that meant the resting size. I didn't read much further. Thinking of human males has always made me feel nervous. Still, I am surprised at my naiveity.

"It is sufficient that I am average."

She laughed and my average size got smaller. Then she told me it was above-average and I grew again. I assumed this was all the news she needed.

"You can leave my room now."

She said it was the rule that if you offer to show someone your p*n*s, you have to show it both soft and hard, otherwise you're leading them on.

"I'm not leading you on. I did not ask for this in the first place."

She didn't answer my valid complaint. Instead, she explained while having five inches while flaccid above the norm, it's not that impressive if it never grows bigger. I thought at the time all flaccid p*n*s doubled or almost doubled in size. She then told me to get fully erect so that she could judge me. I was curious about what her judgement would be.

I had never been told to...touch myself. I wanted to follow this order as much as I used to pray to be able to follow the injunction. Though I was on my way to full erection without being touched, I needed more. My hands went to my p*n*s for her to slap them away. She told me she was in charge and that brought me closer. Her hands went to where I was going and I was touched by a female...no, by anyone...for the first time. She held my p*n*s in her palm. Her skin was warmer and drier than mine. It was a 100% new skin. Her smaller feminine hands made me look bigger.

My f*r*sk*n had not retracted yet so she was able to gently pinch the excess. She noted that I was unaltered. I worried that would be a problem. My f*r*sk*n was clean of course. However, I had heard some females express disgust at foreskins. I didn't find them disgusting. I found circumscion the disgusting act. At that moment, I would have ripped off my f*r*sk*n if it meant she would continue touching me. To my relief, she said she preferred f*r*sk*ns.

She said my clothes were in the way. Then she started pulling down my waistband, both briefs and shorts. I stepped back a little. She said I needed to get completely naked.

"Why?"

She said because I was a mess and I'd make a greater mess. I had to admit I was sweating. It didn't help she was commanding me so directly.

I took off my shorts and briefs, carefully getting them past my shoes. That out of the way, I tried to untie my shoes properly. In the end, I slipped them off like I normally do. I peeled off my completely-soaked shirt. Sometimes I lose track of how much a sweat. I peeled off much better knee socks one by one. I told her I was done. She said there was one last item.

"What item?"

She said my sunshades counted as clothes.

"I need them."

She didn't think I could need them at night.

"These are prescription label."

She said it wasn't that important for me to see. Then she directly commanded me.

Before I could follow her arousing direct command, she did it for me. She then threw them on the ground where they slide off. My eyesight blurred a little from losing my prescription shades but now I could see her colors better. Her hair was red instead of the brunette I assumed. Her dress was a shade of blue I liked but with some sort of blobby design. The boots were a candy-red that made me want to lick them. What really surprised me was her blue lips. She was trashier than I thought and that both disgusted and turned me on.

She complimented my eyes, which I don't think anyone has ever done before. I could have thanked her but there was something else on my mind.

"Are you going to undress?" I asked even though I didn't need to see her naked.

She said cursed her boots and said they prevented her from kneeling properly. Otherwise, she didn't need to undress.

Though I wasn't that interested in seeing her body, I did bristle at the unfairness of this exchange. I was distracted from my indignation when I heard the long sound of her zipper. My vision wasn't too bad to see her take off her boots. Her legs were shamefully skinny. Her ripped stockings offend me. Yet there was something to the sight of her peel away those shoes. The soles were surprisingly flat and I realized she was even taller than I thought. She carefully placed them next to my bed instead of flinging them like I thought she would. I wanted to worship them but I couldn't ask that. This was all about my body.

"Will you take off your vision aid?"

She said she needed to see my genitals in detail. The idea that she wouldn't just be touching but examining me like an item aroused me. She also said she wanted to see my eyes on my peak. I hadn't known we were going that far.

She told me to get a chair. That was easy since there was only one chair. I don't need any more.

She complained about the lack of rug and asked for a pillow to kneel on. She held it at arm's length but used it anyway.

She told me to sit down and I did. I opened my legs wide to let her in. So there she was in this submissive position but I felt like she was towering over me. She told me not to move and not to talk. The commands went down to my bones and I couldn't disobey.

At this point, I was almost half hard and I had barely been touched. Instead of going to my erection, she first went to my scotum. She cupped it in her hands and pronounced it okay. She measured my erection with her hand and it now went down past her wrist. She whistled and said it sure looked to be a grower.

My f*r*sk*n was still just loose enough to play with and so she did. Over and over she slowly rolled it over the gl*n. My gl*n kept feeling the air only for it to be covered again. Eventually, my f*r*sk*n was so tight my gl*n was permanently out.

With my f*r*sk*n gone, she started to play with the sensitive area left. I had to grab the legs of the chair while she drew circles on the top. She didn't seem to know or care how painful it was. It didn't help that she had nails.

Still, the stimulation was stimulation and my body responded. She noted that I was leaking so much pre-ejaculate that I was like a teenage girl. I internally disagreed that I was anything like a girl but I knew I was very moist. I had ruined some pants that way. Then, she stuck out her tongue once and licked my ur*th*. She declared I tasted like most men. I thought that she must have tasted a lot of men to know this and then I briefly wondered what it would like to be to taste another man. I quickly put that thought away.

She then declared she was going to try to put my p*n*s in her mouth. She opened her mouth wide only to stop and threaten harm on me if I dared thrust. I gripped the legs harder. I was worried about her teeth before I saw her blue lips curl over them. Again she opened her mouth wide. With two hands she grabbed my p*n*s as if it would run away. Her head moved down to my head. Eventually, her mouth enveloped my head. It felt so warm and soft and I wondered if this was anything like a v*g*na would be like.

Suddenly, I was pulled away from the cavern. She started coughing and I would have asked if she was okay if she hadn't commanded me not to speak. I would like to say I softened at seeing her distress but I stayed hard. Maybe even harder.

When she caught her breath, she said there would be no more "oral action". She bemoaned that I would never experience a real "bl*w j*b", nor v*g*n*l nor an*l. The second one truly distressed me. I could never make love to a woman without tearing her apart. How could I marry? Assume I have found anyone?

She returned her hands to my p*n*s. One hand firmly gripped the base and stroked it hard. Another gently stroked the upper part. She did this with perfect rhythm. My quick one-handed shuffling was nothing like this. It was an artform. She'd must have practiced on a thousand men.

When I felt I could not fit a drop more of blood in p*n*s, she took one hand off of it. She mercifully left the other one stroking but so painfully slow. She placed her other arm at the side of my manhood. From base to head it went down to her mid-forearm. She stopped stroking for a moment to declare I must be a foot long. I was sure I was ten inches, but that was under normal circumstances. Not under such erotically charged ones.

She let go of my engorged appendage and let it bob a couple times. Then she sprung it a few more times. She held it against my stomach. Then she let it loose again. It was like I was a toy to her. She laughed and it didn't bothered me this time.

She told me not to move and definitely not to touch myself. It was a hard order but I followed. She scrambled over to her boots and pulled out a blue and black rectangle from the top of one of them. She went back to her position and I saw what was in her hands was a cell phone. As it turned on, I finally broke my silence.

"You can't take a picture of me!"

She claimed she was just checking for messages, which struck me as foolish. But then I heard the sound of an artifical camera shutter.

"You are taking pictures of me!"

She cursed the camera shutter sound effect under her breath before saying the picture would be for her own personal use. If I objected so much, then she would leave me incomplete. My common sense told me she was lying about the personal use but my lust won over.

"I allow it."

One picture turned to many. I could have softened during this but I remained hard as diamonds. Finally, she turned off the phone and put it away. She asked if I want to finish and I nodded. Her hands returned to their stroking position. I climbed higher and higher.

Then, she started to talk. She asked if hers were the best hands I had ever felt. I nodded. She said her hands were the best. Her voice turned from sweet to bitter when she said I had no comparassion. She asked if I was a virgin and I nodded yes. She said she knew I was a virgin, that everyone knew I was a virgin, since it was so obvious. She said I had only one friend on campus and that friend was dating another. I knew she meant Nepeta and her pal Terezi and I wanted this stranger not to talk about them. Instead, the stranger said that even if the friend wasn't already committed, she would never have relations with me. The stranger claimed I wanted to have intimate relations with Nepeta and it isn't true, Nepeta is like a sister to me, but all I did was mumble "no". This presumpious stranger said that no female would ever date me. I couldn't say it hadn't been true up to now that no female had ever been interested in me. She said I probably couldn't get any males either despite the ease in that. She suggested I might have tried bestiality. I had a few thoughts in that direction but I'd always resisted. She didn't think it counted in any case. I couldn't say anything through all of this. She said that no one at all would ever date me. I was too ugly and awkward and gross for that. I knew I was also rich and intelligent but I didn't defend myself. I kept silent. I was cut to the core yet I was as hard as ever. Her words infuriated me but that just drove me on.

She said I would have died a virgin if it weren't for this chance encounter. She added that it wasn't that big of an odd she would find me since I spent all my free time in my room. That wasn't true. I did spend time at the gym. Which is where this mess started. I didn't feel ashamed of being found in my dorm room on a Friday evening. She said that she had been prepared to go clubbing when she changed her mind. This answered only one of the questions I had. She said that this however was a bigger matter. Then she went into glorious detail at how much of a bigger matter it was. After all her insults, she was complimenting me. It was a roller coaster to feel like the lowest being and now the highest. It didn't seem to matter anymore that I was unaccomplished socially. I wasn't a Big Man on campus but I had the biggest manhood on campus.

She said I was much bigger than her boyfriend. I didn't feel guilty cuckolding him at this point. I was superior to him, after all. She said he would get the pictures but my sense of privacy had gone out the window. She could have posted them on a bulletin board and I wouldn't have cared. Then, she talked about another boyfriend. He had been the largest so far she'd ever had. She said he had eight inches and decent girth but he was nothing compared to me in this department. I had beaten two boyfriends. Then she said the eight inch boyfriend was much better than me in all other regards. She described this man in great detail, enough that I could imagine him though I didn't want to. She said he was attractive and popular and strong. He was better in bed because he could actually do things in bed. She said I'd need to learn to give oral and she doubted I could do that. I wanted to throw her on the floor so I could show her I could but I knew I found oral disgusting. She said the only thing I could do was get an erection.

Then she talked about my erection again. She was babbling at this point. Her breath on my sensitive skin was heavy. A hand went off my erection and I looked down to see it go between her thighs. Despite her supposed boredom, she was aroused and I hadn't touched her at all. Just touching me was turning her on. It made me go over the edge.

I was gentlemanly enough to the slut to warn her I was climaxing. Then I tensed up and with a few errant thrusts I came. And I came. And I came. It was the most extreme org*sm I had ever had in my life.

When I caught my breath, I opened my eyes and looked down. Even though I couldn't see well, I could see I had gotten not an inconsiderate amount of ejaculate on her glasses and some in her hair. I had not had release since Wednesday but I didn't think just that would cause so much. I felt embarrassed. However, she didn't look angry at all. Instead she had a wicked smile as she examined her glasses. I leaned over to get a towel for her from my bed. Before I could give it to her, I saw lick her glasses. She said I was the best tasting she had ever had. I found this disgusting but if I could have gotten an erection I would have.

She took my towel and properly cleaned herself the best she could. She stood up uneasily and awkwardly walked to her boots. However, she didn't put them back on, just picked them up. She thanked me for satisfying her curiosity.

"You're welcome," I replied hoarsely.

She asked me to thank her back.

"Thank you," I said but I don't know if I meant it.

In response, she made a theatrical bow. She unlocked the door and left and as the door shut I realized I never found out her name. I had just been pleasured to orgasm by a complete stranger. Did it count as losing my virginity? If I ever had a girlfriend, would I tell her that? I don't know if I can tell Nepeta.

All I can do it write it down here.

I might need to attend to myself.


	2. Vriska

It all started with my dumb boyfriend John. If it weren't for him, I'd never had done it. We were about to go to Club Derse. I had on my vinyl colbalt spider-web minidress and knee-high candy-red Russian-cut boots and I was looking stylish. I totally forget what John was wearing. As we were leaving my dorm, he told me I shouldn't be mean to anyone tonight. He said that like he was my freaking mom! I told him I wasn't some huge bitch and he said he didn't say that but there was that time back in high school etc. So we got into this big argument and I pulled out the "small dick" card. He yelled he was no Equius Zahhak but he could still satisfy me. I asked John what the fuck he was talking about. The dweeb suddenly got bashful and said he heard rumors this Equius was really big. I asked him where he got that rumor from since I don't think Equius has ever dated anyone. John said he couldn't remember, then he said he heard it from Dave who saw Equius in the showers. I asked how big did Dave say Equius was but John went back to his first point. I was just so tired of this fucking argument that I said I'd just fuck Equius. John yelled that he didn't care as I walked back to the dorm.

To my credit, I didn't immediately go to Equius' room. Well, I couldn't have. I didn't know where the hell he lived. I went back to my room first. I was close to wiping off my makeup when I realized I could ask Nepeta. I texted dear sweet innocent Nepeta and she told me he lived on the men's floor below me. I didn't know all this time that we were pratically neighbors! Actually, I hadn't ever bothered to think about where he lived until now. She didn't ask me why I wanted to see Equius which is good because I don't think I could have thought up a reason. John texted me to ask if I was really really going to fuck Equius and then begged forgiveness but then pointed out I was being mean so I turned off my phone. I still put it with my room key in my handy Russian boot compartment as I walked downstairs.

I knew I wasn't going to fuck him. People say I'm a slut but that's just too far for me. I was just going to give Equius a handjob and snap a picture of it for John.

Even if I didn't get the room number from Nepeta, I would have found Equius' room. On his door he had a collage of horse pictures clipped from magazines with the letters E-Q-U-I-U-S on top. This wasn't a little printer sheet, mind you, it took up most of his door. I only knew about Equius' personality second-hand from Nepeta and she said he liked horses. I still wasn't expecting him to be this crazy for horses.

I knocked on the door. As I waited those few seconds, I wondered what I would say. Would I try to lay my romantic charms on him? Or would I just straight out ask to see his dick? I wasn't in the mood for flirting. I was just too angry.

Then Equius opened the door. The first thing I noticed was that he was tall. Like six foot five. I know there are some short dudes with huge dicks but I still took this as a good sign. This guy wasn't a stringbean either. He was built like a truck. However, he dressed like a dork. He wore this black tank top with a white horse bucking in the moonlight, dark blue jorts, and knee-high black socks. His hair was long and I like that look in a man (shame John is too much of a wimp to grow out his hair). However, it was ruined by grease. His face looked like his favorite animal but with pimples. He wore sunglasses at night like John's annoying hipster friend. He was such a mess. I knew he had to be an easy lay.

I asked him, "Hey, you're Equius Zahhak, aren't you?"

He said that was the name on the door as if it was rude to ask someone's name. It's just conversation! He then asked what I wanted.

I totally couldn't tell him to whip out his dick in the hall so I said "We need to do this inside."

He moved aside and I stepped in. I immediately was bombarded by the smell of body odor. It was a body odor that might have been nice in small portions, maybe even nice enough to bottle, but it was toxic in large amounts. There was also the vague smell of milk. After the smell, I noticed he had furry art posted all along the walls. These weren't rasterbated print-outs. They were full glossy posters. He'd used dA print shop well. They seemed vaguely suggestive but I didn't see any that were explicitly pornographic. Not that I wanted to find any pornographic. If I had, I would have left, promise or not. I stopped searching and turned my head to my target.

"There's something I need to know," I said.

He asked why I couldn't have asked in the hall.

"Because you can't discuss just anything in the hall! This is a private question for a private room!"

He asked why he should answer a private question.

I decided to say, "Because it's a matter of manly pride."

He asked what I meant.

"Your manhood is in question." I looked down at his decently-packed crotch before looking back up in hopes he would get the message.

He just repeated "manhood" dumbly.

"Yes, your manhood," I said seductively, "I've heard rumors around campus that..."

He immediately denied it. It made me wonder if there were other rumors he was thinking of.

"Let me finish! I mean there's rumors you have the biiiiiiiiggest cock on campus." He winced on the word 'cock'.

He asked who start the rumor.

"I don't know, someone's closeted friend who looks at too many dicks in the shower. Does it matter? I just care if it's true or not."

He asked why should he tell me.

I decided to pull the chivalry card. "You should be honest to a lady."

It looked like that got to him. His brows got a few more beads of sweat. He must have done a lot of homework for girls back in high school. Yet he didn't answer me and that made me nervous. I went to blackmail.

"Or I'll tell everyone you have the tiniest dick."

He readily agreed after that, though I think I could have pushed the first card harder.

My smile returned to reward him. "Good boy." I would have patted his head for extra measure but eww.

The poor excited dope tried to unbutton his jorts but he was too big and clumsy for that. I had to do it for him. I wonder how he normally dressd. Underneath he wore tighty whiteys and I found that dorky but I guess if you're hung you need the support. I let him pull down the briefs himself so he could whip it out. I was so tense as he slowly pulled his mystery meat over the waistband. Eventually, out came not a python like expected but still not bad. It was a respectable size. Something you could walk around with pride instead of tripping over. It was also pretty thick. I hadn't found out from John whether Dave saw Equius soft or hard. This didn't seem worthy of rumor so far. There was more to go.

"So, this is completely soft?"

He said it was.

"You look like you know measurements. How long is it?"

He said five inches. I think he was underselling a bit but I don't know why he would.

I nodded. "Goooooooood size."

He replied to this compliment by saying he felt "sufficient" being average. He sounded like he was a robot. I laughed at this. Guys don't know dick about dicks and they own them.

"This isn't average, it's aboooooooove-average! Average size soft is three inches. Don't you know your statistics?"

Instead thanking me, he told me I could leave the room. Rude.

"Look," I schooled him, "If you offer to show someone your dick, it has to be BOTH soft and hard. Otherwise, you're just leading them on."

He whined that he wasn't leading me on.

I explained further. "Having five inch softie is statistically over the norm but it's not reaaaaaaaally impressive if you only grow like a millimeter more. Five inches plus one millimeter is a completely average erection. I need you to get erect to properly judge you and I mean fuuuuuuuully erect."

He finally seemed to understand and he went to grab his dick. I could have let him just jack off himself but that would have been too boring. I didn't give up clubbing just to watch someone else have fun. Besides, I was sure I could get his dick harder than he could by himself. So I pushed his hands away and took care of business. I held that dick in my open hand and it looked so much bigger. I was touching this gross stranger's slightly colder skin with my own skin, with no glove in between. I couldn't believe I was doing this completely sober.  
  
He was uncut and I had not been with an uncut guy since my first. John was cut as a baby and has the scar to prove it. Some people say that oh my god it's child abuse worst than murder but I don't have a strong opinions. If I have a son, I'll flip a coin to decide. As for this guy, he was packing foreskin. I pinched what was left over and I could have put a marble or two in there if I never wanted them back. My first boyfriend was nothing like this. It was weird but kind of sexy. Maybe I did have strong opinions.

"I think I prefer foreskin."

He breathed out as if he had been waiting for me to say that. As if I could run away now even if I did think foreskins were the grossest thing ever. I had to see this through.

This wouldn't work out if he was dressed. For one, I couldn't get to his balls and those were part of the package. Two, I didn't want his dorky clothes to get ruined. Okay, there was a third. I wanted to see him naked. Look, he had a great bod and I couldn't go away without seeing it.

"We'll need you completely naked," I told him and immediately helped him out with that. Instead of making it easy for me, he stepped back and asked me why.

"Because you're a mess and I don't want your clothes to be a mess," I said which was 1/3rd true.

This convinced him. He took off his jorts and briefs while leaving his heavy shoes on. Underneath his underwear he had a good thatch of hair. No manscaping for him. His balls didn't hang really low, just the right amount of distance. It was his thighs I really noticed. He could squeeze someone to death with them. After that, he started untying those bowling-alley-stolen shoes until he gave up and got out of them the lazy way. His feet were in proportion. He took off his horsey shirt or rather peeled it off. It thudded to the ground. His chest also wasn't shaved. I thought he would do the bodybuilder thing but he's too old-school. His black hair there was completely soaked. He didn't leave on his socks like other guys do. He took off those school girl fetish accessories. He held out his arms like he'd accomplished something and told me he was done. I could have left it at that, I'd seen his bod, but I also wanted to see his eyes. You can tell a lot from someone's eyes.

"Shades count as clothing in strip poker and everywhere else," I said.

He said he needed them.

"In the middle of the night?"

He told me they were prescription.

"They make prescription shades? It's not important anyway. You don't need to see me to enjoy a hand job." I got my sternest voice. "Get those shades off, now."

Before he could respond, I reached up and took those fuckers off his face. His eyes went wide in panic but he didn't do anything about it. I put the shades somewhere, I forget.

"Nice eyes," I said even though that wasn't true. He looked like he smoked more pot than Gamzee, though I know that's impossible. But I figured some flattery would make him forget his shades.

Instead, he asked if I was going to undress. Naughty boy. He wasn't going to get me to undress. Not completely, that is.

"Well, these fucking boots are a biiiiiiiitch and I can't kneel in them. Otherwise, I'm staying clothed."

He didn't whine about this. I took off my boots but placed them carefully to the side, in arms reach. I could see him stare at them. I guess he is a boot fetishist. Or he hates boots in which case fuck him.

He asked if I would take off my glasses. I mean, "vision aides". Did he hate glasses on girls? Who cares about that anymore? Most guys love my glasses, especially when they get to come on them.

"I asked to see your dick, not see a blob. I need to see your whole package whole, eveeeeeeeery last detail. As for you, I want to see your eyes in your O face."

His eyes widened, giving me a preview.

"Now go get a chair."

He brought the only chair in the room which turned out to be the generic chair that comes with the dorm. Apparently he never found the Ikea in town. The chair was wooden with no armrests or padding. The chair looked painful, especially for a guy as tall as him, but it wasn't my problem. However, I needed my own comfort.

"Also a pillow to kneel on because why don't you have a rug?"

He got me a pillow and I realized I should have brought my own but I didn't have a choice.

"Sit down."

He sat down on the chair and opened his long legs wide. I put down the pillow and kneeled. I was now face-to-face with his crotch. He was wide open and vulnerable.

I looked up into his eyes. "Don't move, don't speak, capishe?"

He nodded. It looked like I had a submissive in this macho man.

I had to check out the balls first while I was there. I cupped them in my hand. I found they were normal balls. Symetrical and blemish-free, but still balls.

"Balls okay."

That done, I measured his erection with my hand and arm. It went down past my wrist by this time. It must have been like eight inches. Equius was officially hung. Yet it only bobbed half-hard and the foreskin was still stretched over his head. How much bigger could he get?

I played with the foreskin while I still could. The very tip of his head was visible but not the rest. I would pull the foreskin back slowly until his head was fully-out. It was a gorgeous big red head, shinier than a cut one. Yet it wasn't out long before I would push the foreskin back. I repeated this over and over and over, playing with this new feature, before the foreskin refused to push forward

I moved on to his head. Slowly I made circles with my fingers around it. I could see him shake and shiver and I knew it must hurt from my clit experiences but I didn't care. It was still making him hard.

I was also making him wet. He didn't just make one little drop for me. His pisshole was bubbling over with precum. I'd never seen anything like it.

"You're as wet as a teenage girl reading her first slash!" He looked offended but I was just telling the truth.

I told myself I would just use my hands, but I was curious about how he tasted. A little lick wouldn't hurt. I did the tiniest lick. I just found the normal salty and queer taste. I don't know what I was expecting.

"Taste like every other guy," I muttered.

I figured as long as I had broken my no-oral vow, I'd have to break it further and see how much I could get in my mouth. I knew swallowing the whole thing was impossible but maybe I could swallow half.

"Okay, it's into the mouth time."

I prepared to open my mouth wide when I realized something really bad could happen.

"Don't you dare thrust or I will bite it off."

I went back to my mission. I grabbed that shaft tight and moved in for the kill. The huge wet head went into my mouth. I could taste it but I couldn't move my tongue. My entire mouth was taking up by this dick. I could only breath through my nose and it felt like even that was full. I could have left it like that but instead I moved forward. The python didn't get near my uvula before I had the urge to cough. I pulled back before I could accidentally bite his dick off. Luckily, I didn't ruin the evening by throwing up. The ruiner of my throat didn't ask if I was okay, or soften in sympathy, the jerk. Eventually I was okay.

"No more oral action." I adjusted my jaw. "Jesus, you'll never get a reeeeeeeeal blowjob, you poor joke. No pussy either. Definately no anal, you'd totally kill them. You'd tear apart anyone!"

Even as I said this, I couldn't help myself imagining this monster tearing me apart. I knew logically it'd feel like giving birth and that isn't sexy but my body didn't care. What was wrong with me?

Instead of begging for him to fuck me, I returned to giving him a handy. It was a two-hand job at this point but I did it well. Hard strokes at the base, soft strokes at the head. I was skilled at this but that's no surprise. The strokes got longer and longer. The skin turned from pale to a deep purplish-red. His dick got harder and harder until it could have broken a diamond. I was glad I wasn't with one of those hung guys who never got hard.

I stopped to measure my work. Now, his cock reached midway down my forearm. I thought it was impossible but there it was before my own eyes.

"You have a foot long cock."

He looked at me incredulously though followed my silence orders. Apparently he was too blind without his shades to see he had a fucking third leg.

I lifted this slab of meat up only to let it bob down. I did this several times. It was hypnotic watching it go up and down. The erection was too big to ever point straight up but it still had a nice upward angle. I held it against his washboard abs and it went a full inch above his belly button. Beside the length, it was as girthy as my forearm. I'd never seen anything like it in porn and here I was seeing it first hand. I felt so lucky.

I definitely had to get a picture. No, I had to get many pictures. Again, I told him not to move. I scrambled to my boots to get my phone and scrambled back. Slowly my phone turned on. Equius couldn't obey my order and got offended I would take a picture. He should have been honored.

"Relax, I'm just going to check my messages."

I was not surprised to find a dozen from my boyfriend. It just harden my resolve to send him a picture. I tried to surreptitiously take a picture but the fucking camera shutter noise was on. Equius heard and objected again. I muttered under my breath before talking to him.

"Chill, these pictures are just for personal use. Only my eyes will see them. If you reeeeeeeeally want me to delete them, I can always leave you here."

The look in his eyes showed horror at the idea of being left hanging. He agreed to allow my pictures to remain. Sucker.

I had planned to take one picture but after seeing this wonder of the world I had to take more. I took pictures from every angle. I even took a selfie next to it. As much as Equius had objected, he didn't go soft at all. Every picture showed him with twelve inches. He must be an exhibitionist.

"So, you want me to finish this job?"

He of course nodded, so I of course continued. After some time playing with his dick, I got the wicked urge to play with his mind. I broke through the noise of panting and wet slapping.

"You like these hands, don't you?" I asked.

He nodded rapidly.

"Of course you do. They're the beeeeeeeest! But you don't have anything to compare it with do you?"

He didn't respond.

"You're a virgin, aren't you?"

He took a slow time nodding.

"I can tell you're a virgin. Everyone can tell you're a virgin. It's soooooooo obvious! You have only one friend on this entiiiiiiiire campus and she's dating another."

He frowned and his eyes looked sad but his dick was as hard as ever. I continued on.

"But she wouldn't date you even if she was single."

His brows furrowed angrily but he didn't say anything.

"Yes, Nepeta -" He flinced. "Dear sweet Nepeta." He flinched again. "She knows too well how gross you are. But you still want to fuck her. You want to fuck her to the ground."

He growled "no" but otherwise didn't talk to me.

"It's not just Nepeta. No girl would eeeeeeeever want to date you. No guy either. There's animals, you could fuck them..."

I paused to watch his eyes go to the side and wondered if he was remembering something.

"...but sadly, those don't count. So basically, no one would ever date you."

Another man would have at least softened at this point but he hadn't. I was really on to something.

"You would have died a complete virgin if it wasn't for this chance encounter. But is it really that big of a chance when you spend aaaaaaaall of your time in your room? Tonight I was going to go clubbing. But then, out of nowhere, I changed my mind! I decided this was a much bigger matter."

He smiled wide.

"Yes, you are a WAAAAAAAY bigger matter. I could have gone out to the club, danced with guy much hotter than you, grind against their crotch, feel their erection on my back. Doesn't that sound fun to you? But their erections would be nothing compared to yours. Most of those hot dudes would have only five inch erections. Some would be smaller. The hung ones might have eight inches! But you have four more inches than them. If I ground against you at a club, it would be a scene!"

He was definitely happy to hear this. Who wouldn't? I got more daring and revealed something personal.

"My boyfriend is much smaller than you."

He flinched at the word boyfriend. Was he feeling guilty? Would he feel guilty enough to stop?

"Yeah, I have a boyfriend. Is that really surprising for a cute girl like me? Well, he has only four inches. I'm veeeeeeeery disappointed in him."

I was lying. Despite it all, I didn't feel disappointed with John sexually. He was actually good in bed. Motion of the ocean plus some good hands. But it was all part of my spiel.

"He'll get the pictures when I'm done. Is that okay?"

Equius nodded. I knew he would. I decided to bring in another rival.

"I've had more than one boyfriend, of course. My largest one was eight inches with a one and 1/2 inch diameter."

This was true. I had measured Tavros myself.

"That's still so small compared to you, isn't it?"

Equius was really smiling now. Time to bring him down.

"But this boyfriend was better than you in AAAAAAAALL other ways. All of them."

The smile disappeared but the erection didn't.

"He had warm brown skin and big brown eyes and a little mohawk. Almost as tall as you. Cutest little baby face on the body of a REAL man. He was very clever and witty. He had charm to him. Eveeeeeeeeryone loved him. He had a STRONG personality."

This was a vast hyperbole. Tavros is cute but not that clever and he has the personality of a wet noddle. I don't know why I keep ending up with dorks like him.

"He was also greeeeeeeeat in bed. It wasn't just his dick. He had the beeeeeeeest head game ever."

Not really true there. But he tried at least.

"Still, I grew boooooooored with him and dumped his hung ass."

That was the biggest lie. He broke up with me and very publicly. I wish I hadn't brought him up. I wasn't intending to bring myself down.

"You need to learn to do oral. But I bet you think pussy licking is gross." His dick might have soften there. "Maybe you'd like dick sucking - " His dick bounced. "But you need to learn pussy licking. So far all you can do is get an erection."

I wondered if he could be made good at head. I could teach him. I have a pussy and I've had other pussy so I think I know my way around. But I wasn't going to go farther than this.

"But what an erection it is! A tower of power! This is a monument! A monster cock from a dungeon! You could feed a family of four on this! You could beat someone to death with it! You have to use a parachute for a condom!"

I was really sounding like John's dick-obsessed friend Dave, the one who got me into this. I started repeating all the crazy euphemism I heard from him, including the gross ones. And most of them are gross because Dave is gross.

Eventually, I noticed my thighs were as wet as Equius' entire body. My skin felt warm and I was afraid I was blushing. I had been intent on making Equius as turned on as possible and I hadn't realized I had been turned on to. I wanted to have fun but I didn't want this to happen.

I couldn't take it anymore. I just had to touch myself back. He seemed to be too far gone in pleasure and he was blind anyway so I figured I could get away with it. I took my right hand off of him and I put it between my thighs. I didn't do anymore with the hand, I just left it there as a casually rocked back and forth on it. It just made things worse. I needed him to come soon or I'd go out of my mind.

Luckily, by then I had brought him to his peak. He told me this loudly enough that maybe I wouldn't have to text any pictures. His dick jumped wildly and I put both hands on it in order to tame it. For a second, I could have sworn it got even thicker. Then, he made a sound like a whinny and out of his cock came a huge glob of cum that landed right in my hair. Next came shooting sprays right into my glasses. I pumped out even more cum that oozed down his dick. Finally, his throbs were dry and slowed to a halt.

I could have been so angry or grossed out he got cum on my glasses and my hair. Instead, I felt proud that had pulled that much out of him. It must have been two ounces in total. I wondered if I had given him his first orgasm. I turned on my phone again and took a picture.

He was quiet for a long time. He just sat back in the chair panting while his dick softened a millimeter at a time. Finally, he came back to Earth and noticed me. With his eyes on me, I took off my glasses and I licked them. It was the craziest and sexiest thing I have ever done.

"Best cum I've eeeeeeeever tasted."

This was true and I'm sure it made the virgin feel better but even the best cum is kinda gross tasting. It's not creme brulee.

He gave me a towel. It was a gross one but it was all I had until I got to my room. Wiped my glasses enough so I could see from them and made the glob on my hair look like hair gel. I stood up and my legs really needed to adjust but I didn't give them any time. It didn't help that all the blood had gone to my crotch. I picked up my boots but I didn't feel like bothering to put them back on.

"Thank you for satisfying my curiosity," I said courteously.

He rasped out at response.

"Aren't you going to thank me back?"

He did thank me. I hadn't gotten enough thanks for this. I bowed and left him there with his ten inch cock.

I went to my room as quickly as I could and the second I closed the door I started jilling off. It must have taken me only five minutes top to reach an orgasm. I checked the pictures again and ended up do it again.

I don't know if I will show John the pictures. We have a good thing going and I wouldn't want to ruin it all over such a stupid argument. If I told him everything that happened, he'd probably say I was mean even though Equius totally loved it.

I've decided I'll just write it down. Save the memories that way. Because I am definitely not doing this again. I'm pretty sure I won't. I might if I'm drunk or high. But I'll never do this again while sober, I swear.

God, I really want to fuck John. I can do that and think about Equius.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the death of me.


End file.
